do not read
got angst?
happy new year's everyone!
From the NME: Singles of the year: 01: APHEX TWIN Windowlicker (Warp) Richard James, aka Aphex Twin, accepting the award: "Smart! Thank you very much for voting for my track/s. I've had a very good year as usual, although it was very intense, getting on a really big
roll, writing new stuff constantly, really looking forward to isolating myself next year even more! Hope everyone has a totally boring New Year's party, overdoses on everything and chokes on their own vomit on the bathroom floor, make sure you lie face down just before you pass out!"
Signed, Pritchad.g.kraymes.
frankly i'm sick of writing about music, but oh well, not much else to say.
nothing compares 2 u
did you know that sinead o'connor, besides being a very good singer in my opinion, also produces her own asongs and plays the following:
acoustic & electric guitars, percussion, keyboards, and drum machine?
i love giving musicians who just sing a hard time, but just jokingly. but usually i am more interested in multi-instrumentalists; trent reznor, moby, thom yorke, (e) and the group air for instance. new music i've listened to lately that i like are also often multi-instrumentalists: andrea parker, faultline, etc. i haven't heard much fugazi, but on someone's album (now i forget whose it is, ergh), frontman ian mackaye plays guest drums and cello. interesting.

talk about conceptual art meets reality. you know how people put blocks of frozen water in their coke? i froze coke and put coke cubes in my water. it wasn't as tasty, but the cubes solo were good.
Former Sex Pistols Manager To Run For Mayor Of London
    Consider it the "The Great [Political] Rock & Roll Swindle."

    Malcolm McLaren, the man who helped mastermind the
    legendary punk rock group Sex Pistols, has thrown his hat
    into the race to be the first elected Mayor of London,
    according to Reuters.

    As part of his platform, McLaren wants to legalize both
    brothels and marijuana, allow libraries to sell alcohol, and
    permit bars and pubs to remain open 24 hours a day.
    McLaren has also proposed replacing buses with an
    electric train system and starting a new lottery to help
    house the homeless.
national public radio has given the results of the 100 most important american musical works of the 20th century. in this list you'll find artists like john cage, miles davis, bob dylan, the ramones, patsy cline, james taylor, jimi hendrix, dizzy gillespie, thelonious monk, john coltrane, nirvana, the beach boys, louis prima, and many more. i highly recommend you check out the list. click: here.
man i love seeing the Digidaughter. so good yet so familiar in a bizarre way. just like the parent, which 'n itself is scary.
is it even worth mentioning that whfs voted garbage as being a more important band than r.e.m. in the '90s? and this was in the upper 20s, i don't even want to know where limp bizkit placed.

posted by: howisya   ||  Sun Dec-12-99 6:47 PM EST  ||  see profile  ||  send a private message
subject: "'the fragile' tanked." -mtv year in rock '99
man i love mtv.... they're geniuses.  that is a brilliant remark to make...
seriously, it sums up the current state  of music really well. mtv is  inadvertently saying that quality no  longer matters, it's catchy singles.
success is measured in commercial appeal  to an audience who has forgotten quality music in favor of meaningless  garbage that they can listen to without  having to think. thanks mtv! you took  the words right out of my mouth. say it with me everybody, THE FRAGILE TANKED!
12.09.99|02:48PM (12.09.82|05:31AM)

if i don't know who to kill, no suicide: i'm already dead.
"I have become death, the destroyer of worlds." J. Robert Oppenheimer
????? is the most sincere form of flattery.

finally got my learner's today. i was extremely determined to get my permit before i turned 17. i made it by just 5 days. i dunno if i got any questions wrong and if so how many because i took the (easy) written test. i had to put up with computer failure and an exaggerated perspective of how my nose looks from the side, but at least i have a shiny new id. not that i care about driving at all, i just didn't have an id.

i can't believe i haven't updated in so long. that's kinda cool. i wrote an update yesterday but netscape crashed before i could save it. memory problems. maybe i'll be getting more ram for my birthday or christmas. but honestly the real problem is the "swipe file". it tries to get the 10, 32, 64 megs of hard drive space for memory use but comes up with nothing. i have a serious hard drive space problem. too many dang mp3's. so my #1 computer gadget to get is a 20.4 gig Western Digital (digi digi) Hard Drive. i have no idea if it has to be internal or external. if it's external it will look ugly as hell and probably be slow-ish. if it is internal then cool, but the problem may be that there is no room for a 2nd internal hard drive. anyone know if i can do that? i don't want to delete my current one because i have no disks to back my computer up on. i'd also like a cd-r burner, that way i can move some mp3's onto audio cd's. it's all very confusing and expensive and actually i think a new computer with these features would be cheaper. but i can't afford a new one and my mom refuses to buy one (since she bought this piece of crap literally only 2 years ago - christmas).

i feel sorry for my mom. she's so aloof (eye problem and i guess old age). it sucks that i have to find out my own presents unintentionally. 2 years ago i had to carry my own computer into the house like a day or two before the holiday. also today she bought a couple movies for me while i was with her in the store. and i gave her an order form for 2 t-shirts i want (out of print nin - closer to god & orbital - blue swiggly) and instead of having them mailed to her work (which i would have done) or a friend/neighbor she just mailed it to the house, and she knows i always take in the mail. how unfortunate. silly? i dunno. how scandinavian of me.

yamaha ps-240 i think was what i played with at the store. pretty cool, but i'd like something more techno-y and less gimicky. but you know, $150 is a good price. something to think about for the upcoming months.
January 1, 2000
    New Year
    New Millennium (Celebrated)
January 1, 2001
    New Year
    New Decade
    New Century
    New Millennium (Actual)

malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich
last few movies i saw, most recent first:
    Being John Malkovich
    Princess Mononoke
    The Insider
    Fight Club
    American Beauty
movies i want to see, from most to least interested:
    Sleepy Hollow
    End Of Days
    some new Jane Austen film
who dropped the bomb on hip-hop? who got biggie and who shot tupac?
a couple of good '80s bands i somehow left out yesterday are sonic youth and the police. i guess i do need all my fingers to count the number of decent '80s bands.
princess mononoke is a good movie which you should all see.
you know how everyone always talks about how music in the '80s sucked? i pretty much agree. i think i can literally count on my fingers the number of GOOD bands who were popular in the '80s. here we go...
u2, rem, depeche mode, metallica, skinny puppy, jane's addiction, queen, nine inch nails.
yup, didn't even need 10 fingers. hey here's the new smashing pumpkins tracklisting, not that you care:
1. everlasting gate                                                     8. this time
2. sunshowers                                        9. the imploding voice
3. stand inside your love*       10. glass + the ghost children
4. i of the mourning                                                     11. wound
5. the sacred + profane                                         12. crying tree
6. try                                                      13. blue skies bring tears
7. heavy metal machine                                14. with every light
* first single
3, 10 (a + b), 11, 13-14 i've heard and actually, heh, have on a double-cd. 13 is really good. they cut some of their best songs tho, like "dross" and "speed kills". oh well. i got 'em ;)
i'm really getting sick of the computer
"i'm not feeling all right today." actually i'm feeling all wrong.
i'm so sick. the last 2 days i've had a cold due to the 2 year olds i "work with" every tuesday. they don't cover their mouths. so i caught a cold from them. (2 year olds are sick often - at least 2 (number of the day i guess) or 3 were sick). so that sucks. tuesday night through wednesday the sickness was confined to my sinus area. my left nostril was crying for hours yesterday. and i could only breathe through my right nostril.
today was the same, only it became much worse. as of now, i have those same premiere symptomes + 1) very hot forehead [temperature], 2) blistering headache 3) sore and thoroughly infected throat. my mouth feels like i just frenched a hot tamale. seriously, the roof of my mouth, tonsils and throat all feel absolutely horrible, like they're being stuck with pins from the inside. i'm sick, yet not sick enough to stay home from school. truly an unfortunate predicament.
i've looked and felt truly post-apocalyptic the last hour. i look really horrendous, truly messed up. this is satisfying to me, although i could do without the cold. at least i got to surf a bus. this is a lot safer than car surfing. i didn't have my fare out so i squatted at the front of the bus to get it out of my backpack. then the bus moved. i surfed the bus for like 2 minutes, hands not holding onto anything cos one hand was full (cd player and headphones) and the other was looking for money or putting money back in my bag. fortunately i couldn't felt the weight of everyone's eyes on this white boy in a suit surfing a bus because i was wearing my "ski hat" (according to the abbot). it's just a big grey winter hat but i guess you could wear it skiing.
there really isn't much else to say. i meant to write this yesterday: "no, we don't gnaw on our kitty." and now some w33z3r: "the world has turned and left me here." o the humanity!
don't mean to emote but maybe i will anyway.
most of what i was going to say today i've either forgotten or decided not to write. in short, i've added a couple more lines of lyrics to "x10d". song is beginning to form. new lines could be a chorus. i may ditch it though as it does have an expletive. who knows. i like where the lyrics are going though, they're what i had in mind when i wrote the short 4-word "poem" (if it is one) 2 and a half years ago.
speaking of expletives, 2 of the 3 nin europe tour shirts have the "f" word in them. what the f? come on guys, give me something i can wear proudly. hopefully their US shirts will be different. this tour is called "fragility 1999" apparently.  dumb.
now you're getting with it.
ok maybe i'm not. here's a wishwashy analogy i came up with today. take it with a grain of salt, as it makes little sense 5 hours later.
    whereas most people live their lives blindly, i live my life strapped and bound to a chair watching television with my eyes permanently taped open. so most people can move and do things foolishly, i can see life for what it is yet do nothing about it, if you understand what i am saying, makes for a good soppy depressed misanthropic poem, doesn't it? but poetry sucks. for me anyway. i don't do poems. just analogies.
    here's a list of names i'm considering for my one-person musical project '99/'00:
project a-ko borrowed from an anime series i love
project blue book  borrowed from a government conspiracy
hyattsvillain a play on my hometown, also a critical comment on how i am not the normal hyattsville kid, i guess
prince george's plasma  a play on prince george's plaza (local mall)
poo poo clan some name i came up with in 6th or 7th grade
chewable no meaning
homeboy from the future  borrowed from a shareware game, barneystein. homeboy was one of the programmers.
aborted fetus mission disk something i wrote on a computer diskette, along with a sticker of a fetus
could name of a song i came up with
hot teenage moms a lot of my lyrics will be about teenage promiscuity, this would be an appropriate name. like young black teenagers, but you don't remember them. do you?
mutilation is silly well it is, isn't it?
2400 named after the bps (bauds per second) of my first modem which i had for years
    ep ideas range from "hymn" (or "bible"), which would be a project where i take hymnal classics and make them electronica (but still honoring my christian God as well as my roots in hymn singing), to "video game soundtrack" where i do covers of video game scores i've always loved, including numerous songs from: sega genesis "jurassic park", nes "kirby's adventure", super nes/arcade "street fighter 2", gameboy "caesar's palace", etc. i love that stuff. but i also want to another ep or a full album of mostly originals. coming up with lyrics is hard though. i am going to start writing down one-liners and then string them together. people will mistake it for genius. haha.
    lalala. ok so besides my musical project which i am starting to get really into (as you see), i am also going to create a fake ezine on this very site, i think. the idea came to me today when reading the school newspaper. i figured i could write good articles too, i just don't want people to read them. well, not people who wouldn't appreciate them, i mean. so as a joke i told myself i'd spend time writing print-worthy articles and instead of submitting them i'd just post them up here, for basically no one to ever read but myself. those kinds of things fulfill me, oddly. then i had an improvement on the idea. i would make it look like a real ezine with real writers. but the kicker would be that all the names of the writers are really just aliases for me. i would write all these articles from different points of views, even making up facts, just to make it look authentic. sounds like fun to me, but also more hard work. if you know me, you know i don't like to do hard work. today was the first time i've done homework since thursday night. w0wisya!
    nothing much else for me to say. if you didn't like this, oh well. if you did enjoy reading this, why? get out of my head man. well ok stay but be gentle! "careful - it's fragile!" *chuckle*
white people are so aloof.
black people are aware, but not that bothered.
nin's first concert in 3+ years tonight in spain. w00. someone better bootleg it, that's all i have to say.
i've got the will to drive myself sleepless
i've got the will to drive myself sleepless
i've got the will to drive myself sleep
5-5, 6-7. i've been awake for 22 hours (excluding a 1 hour nap). it's weird. going to sleep soon, don't worry.
you know how you're always not fully awake in the morning? it's the absolute opposite if you reverse your sleeping pattern. i was alert this morning. instead of most people gradually becoming alert, i just deteriorated from there. it was kinda cool actually. a great experiment, but one i will not repeat. unfortunately i missed my favorite minute of the year yesterday: 11/11 11:11AM. i look forward to 2011.
i got an email from trent. yea. hehe. more details in the nin section soon.
great big white world. monday. predictable. fun and excitement. twice. here:
    sweet meat.
    sweet meat
    chall got no idea
    the perfect beat
    my lemons smell like feet.
a list of many of my infamous online aliases over the years. chronological order (más o menos).
handle where?
Dakota BBS
Jasper X AOL
TravisMC2 AOL
Homeboy From The Future BBS
Sensei Dakota BBS
DeathJester L.O.R.D.
Closer2God IRC
howisya77 IRC
Quarterbastard IRC
Vital-Man IRC
LordEargasm IRC
acoustic_creep IRC
Titsworth_Courier IRC
Icognito_Mosquito IRC
Qrod IRC
cryptkiller IRC
Tank_Girl IRC
cheebz IRC
MC Quake
Squarepusher Quake
Paranoid Android Quake
Alec Empire Quake
Hanin Elias Quake
Rainbow Bomber Quake
GangStarr Quake
Dr. Octagon Quake
Moby Quake
U.N.K.L.E. Quake
Premiere Quake
Buffalo Daughter Quake
Modest Mouse Quake
Ghost In The Shell Quake
somewhat damaged Quake
M. Doughty Quake
"Somebody Hates Me"
ok, so i made attempt #3 to get my learner's permit today. (yes, i really AM almost 17.) and i've wasted my third saturday at the DMV now. yes, once again i was denied application. it's not that i keep failing the test - i haven't even seen the test yet. in an effort to take more "responsibility", i am going to admit that each of the 3 times is "fully my fault". i do like to blame my mom for things. but for your enjoyment and my immaturity, here are some interesting coincidences:  ;)
try #1: mom told me the DMV closes at 1:00, so we get there at 12:30. it actually closes at 12:00 on saturdays.
try #2: very ready to take the test, and i almost do. have all materials and a great application. after waiting over an hour i am rejected in 20 seconds because i have a photocopy of my birth certificate, not an actual birth certificate. my mom thought a photocopy would be ok, but they wanted what they call a "real" one. so we go home empty handed (i mean, with no permit) and look for a "real" copy. we can't find one for weeks. i write to new jersey and ask for them to send me one, a process that takes 6 weeks. this week my mom went to the safety deposit box and withdrew a "real" copy of my certificate. go figure.
try #3: with all materials including a photo id and birth certificate in hand we drive to the DMV. this time my mom doesn't want to come in with me cos she's "wasted [her] time enough". so i get dropped off, which is fine with me since i don't really like being talked to when trying to concentrate on something. anyway, another hour is waited. then i go up and get similarly rejected, this time for not having my application signed by my mom. am i angry? yes. frustrated and disappointed? that too. but to be honest, i should have read the application over again.
well, hopefully i'll try again next saturday. wish me luck. maybe i'll actually get to be tested too.
    by the way, i am a little tired of getting 3 new emails each time i check my inbox - they're always spam mail and "tripod insiders". please send me email! no matter how frivolous. i love real email. my email address is:
"recognize i'm a fool and you looooove me" -odb
"life is yours to piss on." september
"yo im slippin im fallin i cant get up" yesterday
"u ken sink quietly or u ken go down kickin and screamin. OR you can swim to the surface.
uv course i roat an ap ol o gee letr and it wurkgrp'd.
tout dans son bon endroit... for now."
today's "do not read" topic is unnecessary (but not unusual) punishment. i will try to relate all of my comments to this.
    i guess i've had a weird last 3 hours. in one of my afternoon classes today i had a paper returned. 97%, pretty good, huh? but it was actually an 80%. you see, the original grade was a 59%. i know, that is pretty low. originally i wrote the paper at 1 am, not understanding the topic at all. i was tired, i didn't read the assignment fully and i was quite aware i was writing the worst paper i've written all year, if not ever. i knew i was doing something wrong cos it was all creative writing and that is not what the class is. anyway i was given the chance to re-do the paper, which was really nice. but the catch was that the new grade would be averaged with the 59%. that angered me. all other teachers let the 2nd grade count instead. i didn't say anything about it, at the risk that my chance to re-write it would be denied completely. anyway, it still really sucks.
    ok, next class. the clueless teacher, who i am nice to and vice versa, informs me that i have a detention. she couldn't tell me why because she didn't even know, but a secretary told her that two other kids and myself were "talking disrespectfully" about the teacher. I DID NO SUCH THING!! neither did the other kid who was in class today - the third kid, who reads this page i think, was absent. of the two kids present, neither of us did anything at all and we still have detentions. i am one of the quietest and most polite people in the class, i find the whole thing
just a little suspicious. and i will not be serving this detention - my first of the year and 4th ever. bleh.
    ok more school stuff. "unnecessary punishment" is kind of an exaggeration, but it is still disappointing. got my school photos back today. never seen funnier pictures of me in in my entire life. they are HILARIOUS. picture acne, chin stubble, chubby cheeks, yellow teeth and a messed up smile. it's great. i don't even mind because it's just so comical. i'm not depressed. if i had one or two of those things then i'd be kinda depressed about the photograph, but having all five makes it a great photo. i know i'm not that ugly and nor do i have any of those features on a regular basis - just that one day. i am grateful it was set aside from the other pictures though, the kids would have had a field day. another funny thing is that my mom paid like $15 to get a photo package with these nice sets and blowups of the photograph. it's absolutely wonderful.
it would have been nice to have a normal pic that i could show people (without laughing), but unfortunately that's not the case. i will work on getting that thing scanned!
    outta school. onto bus. big scary guy runs out of the bus door. gets his hat caught up. stands there outside the bus screaming at us, like some kind of angry animal, which is just what he was. mostly aimed at one nice dad with his kid. he looked at me a couple times since i was right in line with the door. it scared me but it also made me laugh. guy was a total psychopath. i guess some people really don't grow up...
    in the post office now. had to pay $3.15 for shipping on an item. the ebay bidder didn't even give any extra money for shipping either. kind of irritating. got the money order. a nice sum of money, but it means i have to go to the bank and cash it - very annoying. also i wasn't as satisfied with the amount. originally the bidder offered over $10 more (if that was "ok" with me) and i told the bidder to deduct the price. now i wonder if i should have done that. i know i did the right thing. the loving, christian thing. but hey, i like money and i think the person actually had it too and was willing to spend it. i guess i should have just accepted the original bid.
    walk home and get looked at funny by some grown man driving by in his car. i was wearing a suit and tie (school dresscode) and a big puke green backpack. people are such rude gawkers.
    Live cd still scratched up, i think. i'm not having a good week. tired. not doing great in school. discontent and discombobulated. rambling. being introspective which i promised i wouldn't be. this page needs to get more extrospective, if that is even a word. going to shave off the
stubble and brush my teeth now. exit...
    "If I have seen farther, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." -Isaac Newton
i am SO sorry for ever dissing live's new album. it is all that and more. ok so i still don't like it more than the old albums, but hey it's still new, right? it has a bunch of great songs,  like the beautiful "face & ghost (the children's song)", "the distance",  and the badass hard rock anthem "where fishes go". (i saw them do this song live long before the album was out and it was just straight METAL, yo. the album version isn't quite as heavy but it still rocks hard, and the singing is even more chilling. is it just me or are there crying female backup vocals hidden in the song? creepy.) i'll have to give this album even more listens. other stuff i am currently enjoying include johann sebastian bach's greatest hits ($6, 68 minutes - great album), nin "the fragile" (yea, still), and the beta band "the three ep's" (won it).
    does talking to weird schizophrenic homeless men ever freak you out? i've had some interesting talks with the homeless but this guy was messed up. he starts talking to me about how he had to beat up his 18 yr. old son - tough love. he expected me to agree with him, like that's some great thing to do. according to my aunt i look older than i am, and my mom figures the guy probably thought i was in my 20's. anyway this guy guy, argh, he was talking about how his son tried to stand up to him and how he punched him in the face to teach him a lesson, "even though he's bigger than me." amnesty international, my brothers.
    i'll admit i am not a big rage against the machine fan. but mad propz to them for their new video, criticizing the commercial society we live in, and specifically clothing stores like the gap. the video, for the "pretty good" song "guerilla (gorilla) radio", presents all these contradictions and bad aspects of the money driven society we unfortunately live in, delivered via gap commercial parodies. highpoints include rows of immigrants slaving over sewing machines and the band clad in hip clothing playing on pedestals in a white background. marvelous. probably the best video i've seen all year. on a side note, even though the song is not their best, there is a great section where all the music stops and zach de la rocha says "it has to start somewhere / it has to start sometime / what better place than right here? / what better time than right now?" and then the music starts up again.
"getting to know you, getting to know all about you."
    "smiling in the face of perversity."
"the day you realize that all of the odds are against you is the day you truly have become a man."
    "so i figured out songwriting. it's quite simple really. you look at or think of something you like and just write about it. ok, so the songs aren't that deep, but they're interesting, right? you can fool the listener into thinking they're listening to these great lyrics and in fact they're really
    about aunt jemimah."
"but you KNOW dat."
a taste sensation.
i found a very interesting short article on internet addiction, specifically IRC addiction. the site can be viewed here:
so i was hit #5000 on the 'official' kinky worms page.
weird website with lots of nice coding. artistic way to present views on freedom of speech, homophobia, and other societal issues.
and i visited this great guy. trust me, go to this website. you'll laugh and then you'll cry.
anyway, today was a good day. was on tv for a very small bit playing trumpet w/ the jazz band. we were really good and our team (scholastic team of 3 kids) won the competition on tv. the program is called It's Academic. the episode airs November 20. we are going to the semi-finals. saw a bunch of girls. didn't really like them. but a couple were a-ok with me.
wow, i'm proud of myself for not having updated in a while. even prouder that i won't be ranting here! this isn't even a rant page. this is i dunno. i mean, it has comments, it has links, it has just general weirdness.
so anyway instead of writing up my opinions on teenage pregnancies, let me just link you up with another site whose author says basically all my points. the link is here: teen mothers/underage vixens. the rest of this author's page is pretty cool too.
just noticed i was writing with correct capitalization, so i had to fix a few words.
one other link before i go:
my completed CD-R auction - take this ebay!!
p.s. if you want a copy of that CD-R that i sold, there is literally one copy left. i'll be selling it on ebay sometime next week i guess. to view the tracklisting go to my council of trent subpage "hunt for the fragile".
well paint me in conformist colors. rapcore is making a comeback. after a disappointing showing by korn's last album, the coming of limp bizkit, and kid rock i have found some metal/rap that has impressed me.
incubus is their name. i had heard one of their songs, "new skin", a year or more before and was impressed because the guy could actually sing. it wasn't a popular song but i suppose the "in" people knew who they were. ok so they have a new album. their new single, i think it's called "pardon me" (dumb title), is really good. it seems to be a combination of cool jazz, hip-hop, alternative and metal. it's really good. some of the best singing i've heard all year, and coming from a group lumped in with the limp bizkit crowd, that's a compliment. the dj is really good. he is much better than the dj's in limp bizkit and kid rock's live band. i am not listening to the song at the moment so it's kind of hard to describe. but do yourself a favor and try to hear that song.
you're going to hate me for this but i'm back to liking korn, kind of. i was never a big fan but i've always admitted they have a few good songs. their last album was pretty much crap though. well their new cd, with the lame title "issues", has been released to the internet via mp3 a month early (illegally of course). i downloaded one of the two new songs that they played at woodstock this year, "falling away from me", which also happens to be their latest single (i liked the song months before i knew it would be a single). what drew me to this song originally was a simple quiet 7 note guitar riff. it was quite possible the creepiest, most horrowing chord i had heard, at least in a long time. that's only in two sections of the song but it made the song really incredible. the rest of the song was korn's typical but catchy heavy droning guitars. anyway i downloaded the album version and it's cool too. but they changed the spooky 7 note riff to sound like some synth/midi nonsense, which is a shame because it could have been one of their best achievements. i think i'll burn both of these songs onto a cd because it will be a while before this genre of music impresses me again.
on the front page i have linked 2 important sites.
amnesty international and
the hunger site - please go to this site and click on one little button. by clicking you will feed starving people. no, seriously. sponsors pay for food by the number of clicks on the "donate food" button. so just log on and click if you care about humanity. thanks a lot...
1. i
a) am quite agile
b) like to play with candle wax
c) have the social life of a 12 year old
d) all of the above

2. you
a) don't get it
b) are very nice
c) are cooler than i thought
d) none of the above
e) probably won't read:  (?)

3. this
a) is really stupid
b) is really stupid
c) is really stupid
d) is the first day of my last days! -tr
e) sucks, ebay shut me down! for now.
fight club : good movie : great score : dust brothers
VAST : used in preview for new leonardo dicaprio movie: excuse me : am i missing something here? : i guess they're "Touched"
i've seen the world you live in : and honestly : it scares me
i still remember : kinda : i don't remember
i coulda said so so so so : much more : but i chose not to
and soon : what you own : owns you
af : x
no easy answers this time. no personal input. just a couple links. - grow your own garden online! - no, richard d. james did not quit making music. warp records would have made an official announcement. "richard lies in interviews. period." (from that link.) From NME:
"Insisting that the interview would be his last, he said: 'It (the new album) will be out in about five years' time, if at all. What about my fans? They'll have to wait 'til I'm dead - if I haven't taken all my tapes to the grave with me! It's too distracting when you release your music - you can't be honest. Sometimes you've got to duck out completely.' He continued that the only possible forthcoming release from him was an old-skool selection that he might be releasing through his own label, Rephlex, on DAT."      Yea right! On DAT! aaaahahaha.
"this will be the last daily submission. promise." -me
"i can't believe that today was a good day." -ice cube
"10 hours of sleep. 7pm to 2am, 4am to 7am." -me
"thought he had it all before they called his bluff / found out that his skin just wasn't thick enough / wanted to go back to how it was before / thought he lost everything / then he lost a whole lot more." -trent reznor
"told her off in my own unique way today." -me
"blame canada." -south park movie
"mess with texas." -me
"yea, you can hand it in tomorrow.... thursday." -teacher
"so you can make me what, that doesn't make you jesus?" -me
"the goat says 'baaaa!!!'" -byron
"he sits with his feet in the toilet!" -j00·ma·lee
"some things are everything to me." -4am poet society
"destroy 2000 years of culture." -alec empire
"X10d." -me
"travis christensen: chock full of ideas, 24/7." the humorous part about that line is that i nearly missed my bus stop just thinking of it. i "rang in" for the stop in time but the guy didn't stop anyway, so i walked home from the next stop.
ok so here are the ideas i am "chock full of". by the way, what the hell is a "chock" anyway? what a weird phrase. according to
chock \Chock\, adv. (Naut.) Entirely; quite; as, chock home; chock aft.
so there you go. another funny thing. i am so "chock full" of these ideas that i can't even function. my creative brain is always working, and that totally throws off the part of the brain that deals with facts and stuff. it's harder for me to learn and study cos of that darn creative brain. anyway - the ideas.
01. phux invades dc. once the site is up and running and looking very nice i'm gonna pollute dc and maybe hyattsville with small black and white flyers advertising the site. it's going to be grande. i'm gonna try to get christian to help me do this. i have it all planned out. i'll take pictures and everything. also, about phux: i want to have 2 color schemes - a pink "womb room" and a light blue and white setup.
02. came up with a massive riff. i had this whole awesome rock song made up entirely in my head. it was glorious, one of the best one's i've ever made. it started out with a single crazy guitar and then came the massive deep hard rock guitar followed quickly by hardhitting drums. the riff kept going then some kind of punk-ish singing came on, but not joke punk - good ole 80s political punk. it was great. it had lyrics too but i couldn't quite make them out. even had a keyboard section, but it wasn't techno at all. unfortunately it all droned out into jennifer lopez's "waiting for tonight" (just my luck) and now it's goo goo dolls' "name". i still remember mostly how my song went, but not fully. it sounded a lot like black flag meets sonic youth.
03. ok... had to get my school binder out to remember this one. oh yea now i got it. i wrote down "talk about the 2 stupidest fads". the 2 stupidest fads in the 90s among teenagers are these: (a) females - skin carving; (b) males - car surfing. i'm sorry, but if you do either, you are a total idiot. first. girls carving things into their skin. it "relieves stress" or something. it's pretty damn sick, that's what it is. how disgusting is that? getting a knife and cutting up your own skin? i've talked to at least one person who does this and she tried to defend it like it was just one of those things girls like to do. gross man, gag me with a school. that is creepy. especially when words or letters are carved in - like "TMC" for example. i won't say anymore except that carving is for idiots. ok and about guys getting on the hoods of cars and "surfing them": i hope you fall. idiot. have you no brain? what possesses you to surf a car going 25 miles per hour? that's a total nobrainer. yea i'm sure there is a thrill to it, but that is just totally dangerous and mindless.
04. this isn't really an idea but it's something i wanted to share. i borrowed a cd called "art of life" by x-japan from nick. it's 1 track, exactly 29 minutes long. it is by far one of the coolest songs i have ever heard in my life, and it has some of the best lyrics ever. really great stuff. to read the lyrics click here (please read them). i haven't found any other x-japan songs i like quite as much as "art of life", but to hear lots of these great japanese rock songs in mp3 format, head on over to this site: japanese channel.
that's all i have to say for now. but one thing i am telling myself is that these entries are becoming too journal like. they're not journal entries cos it's not "today i did this and it made me feel...". that's too lame for me to write. journals can be fun to read but i don't want to write one. this page is supposed to be a place where i can express ideas and stuff, not talk about my day. i'm going to (a) try not to write daily (b) talk less about specific things i did (stuff i want to do is fine tho). expect more of an anonymous viewpoint in future updates. also expect less regularity in entries. peace out mah brothers and sisters.
leo sucks. clint's here and no one knows who he is. kind of funny but not.
i'll tell you what though. the "destroy your feelings" section totally sucks. don't even go to it. or if you go to it, view the pics separately, not through the indexes. the whole thing about the page was that it was supposed to be like "ugly art". but the transparencies didn't start out ugly, they just look ugly unless on a white background. pretty messed up. it's supposed to be representational or something but it just sucks. i said sucks a lot, i know. it's not too bad, but i don't think it's a valuable addition to the site.

dating: prolonged prostitution.
bisexuality: a fad among teenage girls.
if you want to be cool yet not seem too interested, greet people with a nice "what's up?". variations on this include "wassup", "sup", and in a very sexy voice "...wuzup".
welcome to yet another exciting entry to my "do not read" page. i actually have a lot of things to say today, if i can remember. because people don't get that this is not an online journal page, let me say a few words. this is merely a page of incomplete mutterings. this is not some kind of twisted diary where i disclose all my personal fears and hopes and dreams. forget that. not going to happen. like every guy in the world, i will have you believe that i don't think like that. and i certainly won't be sharing it with you, some stranger. so today's thoughts will be listed off travis-style, cos when have you ever known me to develop a full persuasive argument on one focused idea? my mind is all over the place, all the time. i get a zillion ideas at once, and usually forget most of them. creativity is a bitch. well, here we go.
01. i bet you didn't notice it, but 2/3 of the previous entry was deleted. why? well i thought that what i said was misleading. i don't want anyone to think that i genuinely feel care, concern or intimacy with people as a whole. i do like people (and, in a way, everyone), but i don't really care much about people i don't know really well. if you catch my drift. the entry was mushy, which, in retrospect, is quite laughable. also, i said a naughty word, which was unnecessary. i don't want yet another creation i can't show people. i don't feel ashamed of saying "bitch" in the introduction above because it's just a phrase. if i said "so and so is a bitch" then i'd feel bad. note to self, feel no remorse, that was just an example.
02. ASTONISHING PANORAMA OF END TIMES. when i was walking home from school today i was a witness to human behaviour (thanks bjork). i was entering my prestigious oglethorpe street and right there at the turn into the highway was a minor accident. a fast car zoomed through and hit a service van that was waiting to enter the highway. the car kept driving, the van's driver leaped out of the van. "COME HERE!" the brutish white man screamed, as he gestured with his finger for the car's occupants to get out and come talk to him. slowly two african american teenagers (one looking very respectable with nice clothing and glasses). the man in his late twenties treated the two adolescents with absolutely no respect. he screamed at them and pointed to the MINOR COSMETIC BLEMISH on his van. it was a white knick. it's not like the car ran into it or anything. so this guy is screaming at these two kids, and totally treating them like they were four years old. i kept walking towards  my house but i listened in. at a safe distance i turned around and tried to watch, but the "beefy" white guy looked back at me, as if saying "keep walking, punk." so i kept walking, then stopped again to look. he went back into his far to apparently get his insurance info. he wanted to make these two kids really pay for this horrible thing they did to him. last thing i saw was a car trying to enter the street followed by a big school bus. i dunno what happened. but this guy was pissed, he looked like he was gonna pound these kids' head in. i also suspect he said some racial slurs, because he seemed like a racist to me.
03. there's a person i know. we'll refer to him or her on this page as "High Fiving MF" because that fits the personality perfectly (and the person might read this). total trendhopper, and totally inconsiderate towards others. i was minding my own business and then this person offered to do me a minor favor; it wasn't friendly, it was more like "look how nice i can be, so take that". well i accepted the favor tho i didn't need to at all. it was so minor that it was aborted mid-way. very useless yet somehow i am supposed to be in debt to this person. so as i retreated, i did a very major favor, quite effortlessly and without even considering any kind of reward. shows who the kinder person is, doesn't it?
04. gonna use this #4 to talk about music (what else?). just got the tracklisting for the new celebrity deathmatch album. looks nice! has the new marilyn manson song "astonishing panorama of the endtimes". usually i could care less about manson, but this song seems really interesting and i look forward to hearing it (and downloading it). also features a remix of a cool eminem song, plus a teamup between modern and classic masters of rap - canibus and rakim. also features the ever funny kool keith (as himself, i think), a primus song to be the bonus track on their new album (see my future of music chart), . also features the song "let's go all the way" by the wondergirls $. who are they? well it's mark mcgrath of sugar ray, jay gordon from orgy, ian astbury of the cult, and production by scott weiland of stone temple pilots. not that i'm a big fan of these bands, but that song just sounds so interesting. (i've read about it before - jay said that no one wanted to sign the wondergirls $ because of the fear of the clashes of their major egos.) should be kickass. also coming out soon is the soundtrack to end of days. i can't wait to hear the everlast/lohner collaboration.
05. my brilliant classmates are openly planning a private party after this saturday's dance. featuring lots of beer. yes, the supra-geniuses of my class revert to beer parties. pretty lame, don't you think? as if it had to be said, i'm not going. what gets me is how indiscreet they are about it. vron (p.s. if you're a teacher at st. anselm's then this is the line where i incriminate someone), a senior, is asking everyone for "five bucks, or you're not going." shove off, vron. i've psychoanalyzed the beer party thing, like i psychoanalyze everything. apparently they think that drinking beer is the only - or, at least, the best - way to have fun, and also the key to getting girls to like you. that is so assbackwards it's barely funny. what they don't want to admit is that they drink out of depression, probably from stress over school work and the eventual college acceptance. that is really sad, that they're so concerned about their future at such a young age. hence they drink. i don't. i'm not social anyway. i'm not going to the dance cos, (a) i don't know any girls (b) i don't dance (c) i don't like horrible music (d) the atmosphere is totally hostile (guys trying to show up one another - picture class but worse). it's not a culture i want any part of.
06. "the fragile" drops down to 25, from 16 last week (and #1 in the first week). no one likes good music anymore. on a related note, i just found out that trent actually used to admit he purposely made "down in it" sound like skinny puppy's "dig it". hah.
07. if you are female and you find goth boys attractive, i'm sorry, but you are a lesbian. i considered writing a very technical explanation for this, but i think i'll let you figure out what i mean. if you want to see something that should shock and repulse you (or at least make you think less of goth chicks), check out this page: goth-boi babe of the week.
08. tous que j'ai subis, je conserveront en fonction...
09.                                                                when describing how you feel or where you are, always use estar.
10. kelly kicks ass.
not fully sure why i decided to say so much, but i did. periodically i will add this much "news". well, seeing as how i've spent nearly an hour typing this (and researching what i wrote), i'm going to end now. bye bye.
03. "To know oneself, one should assert oneself. Psychology is action, not thinking about oneself. We continue to shape our personality all our life. If we knew ourselves perfectly, we should die." -Albert Camus (thanks Nick)
i think the scariest and strangest thing i ever saw on tv was one of those religious shows that are on in the early hours of the morning. this was on at about 5 am, and i was about 8 at the time. the idea of the program was to present dramatic situations that end in a religious way, in a way that promotes christianity. the episode that sticks out in my mind was incredibly creepy, not the plot per se, but how it was filmed. it involved a man dressed up in a clown suit with a big gun taking hostage a whole room full of adults at a formal party. it was really strange. the clown was very suicidal. seeing this half-asleep left a strange and eerie impression on my young mind. the first half which i barely remember had something to do with old people and their alstheimers disease. but the scary part was definitely the clown. i think it was filmed in that poor quality 70s film. lots of shadows too. bizarre.
one link.. i discovered this song mostly by accident. it's called "downstairs inside" and it's by larissa dalle. song kind of reminds me of beth orton meets the french band air. like the clown show, it's really creepy. the song can be download on the link right here: peace.
i really have a lot on my mind right now... like the new nine inch nails album. well ok i don't have that much on my mind right now. maybe a couple other things. but anyway here is a letter from maryland senator paul pinsky:
Dear Travis:
    I'm writing to let you know that I was meeting with the Governor recently and was pleased to discover the "A Day in Hyattsville" photography contest exhibit currently on display in the State House. Your 3rd prize winning photo entitled "Water Work on Oglethorpe Street" caught my eye and I wanted you to know how much I enjoyed seeing your view of the water spray in the street.
    Keep up the good work and please don't hesitate to call me if I can ever assist you in any way.
Paul G. Pinsky
pretty cool. if you want to see the photo, click on the small-sized picture on the right to reveal the full-sized scan. it's a good photo considering i'm not only not an amature photographer but i also don't even take photographs that often. however, i think i had better photographs in that roll of film. click to see the winning photograph
click to enlarge
i'm ok, how are you? thanks for asking, thanks for asking...
do you like backstreet boys, nsync, britney spears, spice girls, 98 degrees, five, boyzone, etc.?
me neither. i just figured out who is to blame for the whole pop/dance group invasion. are you ready for this?
what is this i say? yes, the dust brothers, the innovative and highly respected hip-hop/house dj duo. the same people who have been bringing into the world brilliant and influential techno music for the last 15 years.
but how are they to blame? easy: hanson. the dust brothers like to produce musicians. they produced beck's odelay, which is on most every critic's top 10 of the '90s list. the brothers produced middle of nowhere, the seminal album by the hanson brothers. by adding their special refined, sophisticated touch, the album was an instant success. it sold millions of albums and was a big hit with the teenyboppers. i was never pleased with hanson, but in hindsight i can say "at least they played their own instruments." at the same time as hanson the well-marked british group the spice girls also hit big, partly due to the attention grabbed by hanson, also partly due to their "hotness" factor.
next came backstreet boys, then their well-liked rip-off group nsync, then the not-as-well-liked rip-off groups five, 98 degrees, boyzone, etc.
as i said... blame the dust brothers.

the return trip (for whoever doesn't know how to use their back button)