Riory Ress

the first issue (still in progress)
A Short Informal Essay on “Greed”

        First of all, this show is completely fake. And let me just say that I pity Chuck Woolory. How
could he get involved in such a sleazy, downright evil show?
        OK, so I don’t have proof it’s fake. But it certainly looks fake. Most daytime talk shows,
including "Springer", are fake. “Greed” seems so obviously fake to me. First of all, the people all
seem to have major idiosyncrasies. They’re either easily related to or disliked. Very loud personalities,
whether they seem truly “greedy” or quiet and reserved. It’s like bad fiction, everything is predictable.
        The questions are all extremely easy. You have to be a total idiot not to know the answers. I
would have had so much cash it’s not even funny. The questions are all very basic, such as “what
is the major color on a box of Cheerios?” and “Which of the following died under age 30”.
        The most obvious thing to say about this show is that it’s a rip-off of “Who Wants to be a
Millionaire?”, and I am certainly not arguing that it isn’t. That show seems to be real because the
questions are harder and the people are more down to earth. The payoffs are reasonable, as I don’t
recall anyone actually winning a million dollars yet. But on “Greed”, the jackpot is $2,200,000. Yeah,
right. Like anyone would really give away $100,000 for knowing that Joan of Arc died at age 19. The
questions on “Millionaire” are harder and worth a lot less money. I have this feeling that every contestant
on “Greed” is an actor and that no one really “wins” anything: all answers are by the script. Both shows
have a ridiculous delay between the spoken answer and the announcement of the actual answer,
complete with bad lighting and pathetic suspense music made on a $80 keyboard. On “Greed” they
really plug the suspense though: delays before the announcement of the answer are up to 20 seconds.
Also, before any major decision is said they always cut to a commercial break. I feel so dirty and
wretched watching this garbage.
        “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” is fun to watch and it has some kind of value to it as well.
Sure, both shows preach greed and selfishness but “Millionaire” at least pretends that it’s OK to love
money. The show has self-respect, just enough so that it doesn’t become a mockery of itself. It makes
winning the money seem educational, and you have to admit, you learned some stuff watching this show.
“Greed” is just shameless, though. It preaches greed like everyone should have a natural lust for money.
Sure, everyone wants to be successful, but have we really reached this terribly self-centered zombie state
already? I thought there was still some hope left in America, but “Greed” makes me doubt that. Sure, the
“greedy contestants” are fake, but the writers and actors are real. The message is broadcast to millions
and I think there will be serious consequences because of these two shows.
        This has certainly been a very greedy, self- centered decade, and by the looks of it, it’s only getting
worse. Unlike “Millionaire”, “Greed” has a team of contestants working towards the big jackpot, not just one
person. This is a poor disguise for even more greed and backstabbing. Although the teammates rely on
each other to go forward in the game there is much animosity between them. Sure, they seem happy when
they get the answer right, but notice how they act before the answer is announced. There is much disdain
between them. Everyone doubts the convictions of their teammates. You can see the contestants shake
their head vehemently when they think their teammate has made a false move. You can hear their
venomous whispers of “no, no, no!”. Then it’s all roses once the answer is proved right. But they backstab
each other at any chance in this game. In “Greed” there is something called the “Terminator function”. A
contestant is “randomly” selected by some kind of divine lightning and they are asked to choose if they
want to double their score by eliminating another teammate or leave their score and teammates how they
are. I saw one contestant who actually decided he wanted to eliminate a player. He picked someone who
looked like a non-threatening 40-something housewife to challenge in a match of wits, where a simple
question is asked and the person who answers first is not terminated from the game. When he picked
this woman and went up to the plate for the challenge, the host, Chuck Woolory formerly of "Love Connection",
asked the woman if she had anything to say beforehand. She asked this in a very frightened and miserable
voice: “I just have one question: Why me?”. His cold monotonous response hit me like a ton of bricks, truly
the most wicked and evil thing I have ever heard on television: “I just felt the need.” God save us all.

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