SEPTEMBER... finally.

welcome back, do not reader.
friday - sept 29 - 03:42pm
this is both cruel and unusual punishment. my bottom braces are back on, and i'm in payyyn. it's so awkward and unlucky. and to make matters worse, i had to wait 45 minutes this morning before they'd even put them on. 10 minutes outside in the frosty air waiting for the "automatic" door to operate, and 35 minutes waiting in the office cos they didn't believe that my mom would come pick me up and give them a check. they called her and of course she didn't answer; they left a message which she got 35 minutes later and called back. anyway, argh.

wednesday - sept 27 - 04:29pm
there's a certain level of nirvana in knowing that you've fucked up. the nirvana in which i speak is not achieved simply by the act of failing, nor is it necessarily the result of knowing that you will do better or "succeed" next time. rather, it is the feeling of fulfillment and the knowledge gained of one's self. this knowledge, when applied, will lead to success if the knowledge is indeed authentic and fully realized. but even in itself, it lifts the soul of some of its burden, and, for some people, frees it of all feelings of guilt. is this happiness in misery? it is not so simple. it is inner peace derived from an act completed, even if resulting in what nay-sayers would deem "complete failure." for it is not failure at all; one can learn more by failing than by succeeding.
...or maybe this is a cop-out.

tuesday - sept 26 - 08:51pm
the bewilderer becomes the bewildered.

monday - sept 25 - 05:35pm
"There's a fine line between Cassanova and Caligula."
(everybody knows this is nowhere)

wednesday - sept 13 - 02:39pm
i have to get braces on my bottom teeth. for those of you not keeping score, i had my braces taken off august 14, 1998. for some reason they have to put bottom ones back on. how annoying!
    anyway, about yesterday's update, don't tak it too seriously - it was just a parody of a common song, so i had to exaggerate and overreact on some things for the sake of the song. everything is fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine...

tuesday - sept 12 - 07:18pm
why is it that i can totally mean to do something and it will totally not happen? i don't know, might want to check on that...
why is it that i can study for three point five hours and end up knowin nothin? i don't know, maybe you have some disabilities!
why is it that my dog can spend ten minutes walking outside doing nothing and have no qualms about pooping on my floor? i don't know maybe he just didn't have to go?
why is it that whenever i get a haircut i look like a gay porn star for a week? i don't know, maybe it's a wake up call...
why is it that i can be bored as hell and still not do my homework? i don't know, must not interest you...
why is it that i have a heart of glass? why you gotta go and quote blondie...
why is it these girls look so good in the summer? i don't know, i didn't think you cared...
why is it that some of them can be so thoughtless at the same damn time? what exactly are you getting at?
it's the questions huh it's the questions boy it's the questions

songs of the moment:
baxter - television
britney spears - lucky
christina aguilera - come on over baby
common - the light
common f/ mos def - the questions
d'angelo - untitled (how does it feel)
deftones - change
deftones - korea
depeche mode - strangelove
elastica - suicide
fuel - hemorrage (in my hand)
garbage - you look so fine
madonna - music
mystikal - shake it fast / shake ya ass
radiohead - bones
radiohead - idioteque
ryuichi sakamoto - opus
rick james - cold blooded
specials - guns of navarone
wyclef jean f/ the rock - it doesn't matter

monday - sept 11 - 04:06pm
i could float here forever...
From: "Vige Millington" <>
Subject: inspired by.
Date: Mon, 11 Sep 2000 19:40:03 GMT
hey travis,
  i had an experience yesterday that reminded me of you; it was notebook-worthy.
  i was walking home from class, when i saw a man standing by the side of the road. he looked
disgruntled and mournful, waiting alone as the cars drove by. as i neared him i realized that he
was holding a cardboard sign with a message handwritten on it. i assumed that he was homeless,
and i begin to contemplate making a sandwich and bringing it to him. for some reason, the sight
of this man with his white beard and ripped jeans affected me, and i wanted to help. i was
almost close enough to read his sign when he began to speak. or rather, when he began to scream.
he directed at me words so full of anger and hatred that i backed away, and couldn't respond.
"Are you reborn?" he kept asking. his sign, the one that had inspired such pity in me was
covered with the writing of  a religious fanatic, full of hell-fire and certain doom. i was
shaken, and then i realized that the salvation that he prescribed was no different from the
sympathy i had wanted to offer him. everyone seeks gratitude in exchange for their own peace of
so..yeah. how's it going?

friday - sept 08 - 08:20pm
you can't tell me what to do anymore
you can't tell me what to do anymore
now i'm free
now i'm free
now i'm free
    hi again. been some time, eh? rather than spend 20 pgs talking about my summer, why don't you just ask me about it.
meanwhile, in the last week i believe i have found a good equilibrium between freedom, self-discipline and misfortune.
    one problem facing me presently, as far as DNR goes, is that it will be increasingly difficult to write things here now that i am more of a 'social' person. commentary would be obvious. writing about and at the same time to a person or persons is extremely difficult. so it probably won't happen much.
    not that i am not stressed out of my mind with other problems. but we'll get to that next update. yes? yes. much love to my fans - ha ha ha ha ha....

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