click for: Explanation
HANDSOME BOY MODELING SCHOOL: Don't Be A Schmuck
The new album from Chest Rockwell and Nathaniel Merriweather, finally ready for 2002!
Featuring the following highly educational tracks, sure to keep you from acting a fool with your woman!
Press Release by: Travis Christensen (howisya@hotmail.com)


01. We All Want To Rule The World (Ugly Need Not Apply) feat. Stewy Griffin (from The Family Guy)
03. Runway Models feat. Princess Superstar and Andre 3000 of Outkast
04. The Octopus feat. Black Thought of The Roots and Ming Xia of The Spooks
05. Really feat. Talvin Singh and Serj Tankien of System Of A Down
06. Chimera feat. Chino Moreno of The Deftones and Charlie Clouser
07. Scoring With Chicks feat. Pharoahe Monch, Esthero, and Squarepusher
08. French Fry feat. MC Solaar
09. Industry Warriors feat. Poe, Buckethead, and The Last Emperor
10. Iceberg feat. Björk and Cornelius
11. Nevermore feat. Plaid, Mike Doughty (ex-Soul Coughing), and Cat Power
12. Forgotten feat. DJ Krush and Trent Reznor
13. The Invasion (Blowing Snot Rockets In The Faces Of Corruption) feat. Priest of Anti-Pop Consortium, Talib Kweli, Boots Riley of The Coup, and Ghostface Killah
14. American Flag feat. Mos Def and John McEntire of Tortoise
15. Crossbred feat. Beth Gibbons of Portishead and John Frusciante of Red Hot Chili Peppers
16. My Vision (I'm Seeing Double) feat. Danny Lohner, Justine Frischmann (ex-Elastica), and Cedric Bixler (ex-At The Drive-In)
17. Welcome To Planet Caucasia feat. Cex and MC Paul Barman
18. Making Friends With (Alcoholic) Beverages feat. Ed O.G.
19. Gorgeous Retarded Girls Around The Block feat. Sticky Fingaz of Onyx and DJ Swamp
20. My Fashion Sense feat. Thom Yorke of Radiohead and Carol C of Si*Sé
21. Handsome Boy Revolution Sign-Up Sheet (Please Write Legibly)
22. bliphop feat. Autechre


Rejected tracks:
Tougher Than Leather 2002 feat. Nelly Furtado, DMC of RUN-DMC, and DJ Babu of Dilated Peoples
Red Hat Style feat. Sam Rivers and Wes Borland of Limp Bizkit and Mike Patton
...and additional vocals by Damon Albarn of Blur and Gift Of Gab of Blackalicious.
...and additional instrumentation by Flea of Red Hot Chili Peppers, Chris Vrenna (aka Tweaker), Nicky Wire of Manic Street Preachers, Terranova, and Courtney Taylor of The Dandy Warhols.

Explanation
Some geeky types write fan fiction based on movies, television shows, and comic books. That's not me. I like music. So why not design a fake album?! As Prince Paul and Automator are taking their sweet time with the followup to 1999's awesome Handsome Boy Modeling School album, I've found myself wondering who will be featured on the next joint. I already read that Thom Yorke and Damon Albarn are supposed to be on it (interestingly I couldn't find a reason to include Albarn as I've already had enough of him on the Gorillaz, Deltron 3030, and Lovage albums). But who else? I decided to just jot down some names of artists I'd like to see on the next album. I enjoyed the first one so much that I thought it was just a given that I'd naturally have a lot of repeat guests. So I decided to not bother with repeating Del, Sadat-X, Kid Koala, DJ Shadow, etc., and just write down new names (sorry it took so long to put this online).

Most of the song titles I came up with on the spot. They don't really mean much of anything. Similarly, the album cover I just whipped up in two minutes. It's just Jarvis Cocker from Pulp. The name of the album is also not very important to me either, I can't fathom what the next album would be called since it's kind of an isolated concept.

Here's what's practical about what I came up with: Trent Reznor was supposed to be on a project with Automator, Prince Paul and Mike Simpson (of the Dust Brothers) in 1999 called "The Good, The Bad & The Ugly". For whatever reason, this never came out. However, Trent's a big fan of hip-hop and I think he'd work well with the two, whether he's co-producing or just singing. As for all the Warp artists, Automator must know at least some of them because he knows Mark Bell (LFO) and has worked with him on the Deltron 3030 album and an upcoming project. And if he knows Mark Bell, Mark Bell knows Björk. Prince Paul has worked with Last Emperor and MC Paul Barman before. The Coup and Anti-Pop Consortium are on Automator's label, 75 Ark. Poe I emailed personally and told her she should be on this album.

Here's what's impractical about what I came up with: Did you notice it's just a bit... vanilla? That's because most of my favorite emcees (those that I think would actually sound good over a Prince Paul/Automator beat) were on the first album. I came up with what I could in the hip-hop department. There's a lot of singing on this hypothetical album, which is unrealistic. Even more unrealistic is the outside production. Automator and Paul are great producers, they don't really need any help. However, I thought of a few collaborations that would sound good. Obviously the album wouldn't realistically have so many outside producers, but I think each collaboration would be nice in itself. Lastly, there aren't enough skits here for a Prince Paul project.

Anyway, if you were amused or intrigued, please email me with your comments (especially if you're a musician I like, say hi). I hope you enjoyed this "sneak preview" of the new album, hitting stores in a few short weeks! Hurrah!


2004 UPDATE!

A few months after I made this page (which was discovered by Esthero via Google and emailed to Automator himself by a longtime musician friend) I thought of some new songs which I like a lot. Some of these replace or cancel out what's above. I'd also add James Poyser and GZA somewhere.

Smack Some Sense Into This White Boy feat. Skillz, Paris & MC Paul Barman
Talkin' Crazy feat. Bilal, Jill Scott, Mike Patton, Doseone & Buck 65
This Is Your Conscious Rapper Speaking feat. Gift Of Gab & Talib Kweli

The first song would be hilarious, no question. The second song would be an all-out war of crazy singing voices. I tried to get this idea to Jill Scott but I didn't get a reply for some reason. :) My reasoning for this song is that they all have lots of range and have sung in some strange voices in the past.

By the time you read this, you may have heard the actual second album or read the details. Interestingly, my ideas for Chino Moreno, Cedric Bixler, and Cat Power were all used. Whether it's influence or coincidence, I'm not sure, but I'm glad.


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